damn bobby, you hurtin' my heart over here...
Ah'm doin' gettin' the Lizard Lick feels over here, guys ;o;
For those who aren't aware of this beautiful thing, Lizard Lick Towing
is a documentary series following the redneck reop company in Lizard Lick, a small town in southern Texas.
Southern Texas. Repos. A town called Lizard Lick.
The adverts they have for it on Dave (the channel that defines modern Britain, I feel: Dave) pretty much do sum it up well. Unfortunately I can't find one to demonstrate, but what you have in your head right now is probably pretty accurate.
People yell. Cars and trucks and bikes get repo'd. People don't like their stuff gettin' repo'd, so they get reeaaalll
angry at Ronnie and Bobby and Amy, so they usually have to sneak up to them to take them away - and then someone usually sets a dog on them or has a gun, and sometimes stuff gets reeaaalll dirty.
But it's not just drama about the repos, not any more - aww, hell no! In the second series, Ronnie tried for the mayorhood, but he kind of pissed off one of his voters by repoin' her truck, so he didn't get voted in, nuh-uh. And then, in the next series, Bobby had a car accident driving back to Lizard Lick after a repo, and that were pretty tense enough - 'cos that were the end of the series! And I had to wait a loooonng time to hear more from Lizard Lick. When it came back it turned out that Bobby was all right, but he didn't want to be a part of Lizard Lick no more! So he left, and Ronnie had to find someone else to replace him - he tried Krazy Dave, but Krazy Dave didn't have them smarts that Bobby did to help him repo those cars well. So after a couple of failed repos, he had to get Amy to help him. But uh-oh, it turned out Amy was pregnant again, so that didn't go so well and Ron wasn't prepared to risk her no more, so he had to go and ask Bobby to come back. Bobby's girl wasn't so happy about that, but Bobby had to help out his old friend, so he had to come back! But even having Bobby back on the repo team didn't make things entirely perfect again; to help her in the office Amy hired another girl, but she wasn't so good and then Ron got angry at Amy for letting things go and she tried to fire the girl and then Juicy got angry at Amy for trying to fire her... Things were pretty tough.
Now Juicy helps in the office and the baby's a little growed up, but of course that couldn't last for long. Now, Bobby just left again!
This time, he set up his own repo business, Get Licked; him and Ron had a big falling out, and he wouldn't even talk to him no more. After everything Bobby and Ronnie had gone through together, this was pretty sad, especially if you knew how deep their bromance went (but don't tell Ronnie and Bobby, they ain't no homo, nuh-uh).
So o'course Ron had to hire someone else again. He wasn't getting Krazy Dave back, no way, not after that disaster with the exploding truck, and with Amy looking after the baby and Juicy on the office, there didn't look like there was no-one else! So he found someone else to help him out, but on their first repo it went wrong, and they got jumped by about twenty guys down an alley when they were trying to take a barber's car. It was pretty tense. One of the guys even attacked the cameraman, and the only person to do that before was Ronnie when they didn't call an ambulance for Bobby!
So the guy Ron had hired to help him got scared and legged it, but Ron didn't get away so well. Even one of the cameramen went to get help this time, and usually they're useless as a wet dingo turd!
The cameramen called an ambulance, and then they called the guy who ran off, and Amy as well.
But they must have called Bobby too, because Bobby was the first one there, even before Amy and the kids. And you should have seen how mad he got at that guy who ran off when Ron was attacked. It was pretty intense. Why, I was almost in tears from seeing that! Clearly he were projecting his guilt big-time onto the other guy.
But when Amy got there, she were real mad. She told Bobby that if he had been there then Ron wouldn't have got hurt so bad, and Bobby took that reeeaalll close to heart. But even when she screamed at him to get outta' her sight, he just went into the other room so he could still hear all about Ronnie. And he didn't leave all night long, even when his girl Cassie came and asked him to come home.
It's all getting a little heavy, and I'm not sure my poor little heart can cope much more with all this emotional drama.
So now that my little emotional drama is over, we can move on.
I am now going to talk about--
No, sorry, Bad Education
is giving me feels too. I can't even describe it this time. It just hurts my soul. There were almost tears.
Saturday morning TV is not good for emotional Rao.
Okay, yes, sorry.
As some of you may know, The Red Prince
has been on my arse for quite a while. Close to three years now, I believe, or nearer three and a half.
And then, yesterday, it kind of came back for me again.
I have phases of The Red Prince
. They don't last long and are usually pretty fruitless, but they generally inspire small things in small ways and a lot of consideration; this time, it was a very different take than before.
Obviously the first draft was pretty shit. You take shit and square it. But I'm glad it happened and was finished, as much as I may look back with horror, because it led to the beginning of the second draft and the reiteration of the current third. This third time around, the biggest changes have taken place. Obviously you don't know what happened in the first one, but I feel the need to list some of the changes I already feel must be put into place immediately. Likely things will, as usual, not turn out the same - but these are things that need to happen and on occasion people seem to find this fascinating, so I shall read them aloud.
And then write them down here because reading it out is pretty pointless, as you can't hear me.
Therefore, the changes include:
- Shorter. Significantly shorter. I worked out the approximate length of the first draft and it was equivalent to two of the A Game of Thrones series. That's like five normal books. This is an inappropriate length for a single novel (although it does add testament to how much I can write in a year. I mean, gees...);
- More direct plot. I didn't actually set out last time knowing what was going to happen, and as such nothing much at all happened. Eventually I worked out what was happening, but by that stage it was onto the fourth volume - now I know better what is likely to happen, I can focus it a lot more;
- In-depth world building. I thought I could get by last time with 'generic nameless Gods' and 'vague impression of culture'. This is not the case. Effort and care will this time go into culture, religion and universe;
- Similarly, the cultures will be more defined and based appropriately on real equivalents. No stereotypes of "These are the black tribespeople": real research into African tribal culture;
- Rheimer is bi. That's just happening. Previously there was a weak homosexual representation in the form of one of my favourite characters, Athna (who may be bearing a slight name change) - there was a scene when he proposed his love to Rheimer, and Rheimer turned him harshly yet guiltily down. I stated at the time that I wished it could have gone another way but it obviously couldn't - now, I look back and say, why not?;
- This also allows for more of a look into other characters. Haka Mant'ei, excluding some weak attempt at forcing him into a relationship, looks now to me very asexual;
- Better writing. Goes without saying, but writing improves limitlessly over time. I'm a novel and a half better off - I can do better;
- Character switch-ups. Extensive and will probably happen as I come to it, but planned at least are: no Adrace - she was pointless; more likeable Allemonte - which is to say, I have to like her; if she comes in at all, more explored Elvivarol; potential name change and more spotlight for Athna; possibility of Sprah Taam and Rh'lana Mart'eera being cut out altogether, although Haka Mant'ei needs some air time; such Rheimer. I guess I consider Rheimer to be my first real 'OC' - the first character I wrote fully for, know completely inside and out, love with a deep and passionate recognition. So much more is going to happen for him;
- Listening to Conventional Weapons, at least for now. Palace in Flames was Rheimer's song, King and Lionheart Allemonte's, and Your Bones for Haka Mant'ei. Now The World is Ugly, Kiss the ring and AMBULANCE are setting me off to start with;
Hopefully this should make things smoother and more exciting.
In fact, I can almost guarantee it.
Now, please excuse me. I have feels to feel